Monday, 30 January 2017

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Have you ever had that feeling that you're being watched? That undeniable and creepy feeling that someone or something wants your attention?

Surfers refer to this feeling as 'sharky'. Still, overcast, the perfect environment for predation.

Spiritual people, well on the way to achieving super-creamy centers of heightened, autonomous, cosmic consciousness, refer to this feeling as their 'sixth sense' ("...sshhhhh, I see stupid people... walking around like regular people... only they don't know they're stupid...").

Only yesterday did I get this feeling, intense and close, like some alien being was probing my mind.

There I was sitting, checking FB and waiting for the chiropractor, when that feeling descended on me with some force.

It ws so quietly intense that my spidy senses forced me to look up, and I saw the creature depicted to the left, looming over me.

'I wish to commune.' came the overwhelming telepathic message, 'Whatever it is you are doing with that small, glass-covered, black box, please cease while I initiate the appropriate communication protocol.'


'Ah man! You're not tied up, you can go and eat grass.' I implored.

'I have chosen to commune with you instead, puny human. Consider it an honour.'

'But there's grass...?'

Slurrp, 'You taste salty, mmmmmm!'


'You don't understand and how could you, I have travelled light-years to attend here. To inhabit this vehicle you see before you, in order to commune.'

'But you're a horse!' replied I incredulously.

'Hah! A simple trick to fool you hapless humans. I am Nanthor, leader of our kind and ruler of Equis VII. Tremble before me.'



'We placed these vehicles here long ago in order to inhabit them on occasion. Lulling the witless humans into a false sense of security.' Slurrp!

'Uh huh...'

'I can inhabit this horse, as you call it, at will to plan our eventual return.'

'What to conquer us by licking us to death?"

'Quiet! Foul and petulant human. It is time!'

'For what...?' I asked, fearing the response.

'For the mind-meld...'

Suddenly a deep blue light descended and such fear gripped me that I almost wept - pure tears of laughter.

But even in my desperation was I able to flick my phone to 'selfie' and capture the horror of what happened next.

I warn you, its not for the faint hearted.

'To be fair,' I began, replacing my hat as the blue light began to fade, 'that was just more licking.'

'Quite possibly.' Replied Nanthor, 'But I have achieved what I came for.'

'A good lick?' I ventured.

'I have probed your mind hapless human and know it is time.'

'For more licking?'

'No,' and here Nanthor paused and looked me straight in the eye, 'for the invasion to begin!'

You never know when its going to happen. When an animal will show such trust, curiosity and grooming skills, that one could definitely be forgiven for anthropomorphising just a little, and calling it affection.

Enjoy it in any case!

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